A Spectator – The traveler has reached the end of the rocky journey!

I remember June 3, 2010 when he took a leap of faith, decided to leave his well-settled job and march towards a path, where the chances of success are low but is surely a life changing experience.

He was my flatmate during his 2 years of stay in Mumbai. When he left for Delhi, I always used to think that he is going overboard with the thought for appearing for exam which is one of the toughest in all measures.

I recall the discussions and his 4 lines of conflicting thoughts to ponder, 1) continue with his current corporate job, 2) go for MBA and restart with the corporate life again 2 years later, 3) do masters at one of IITs for which he tried to work with one of the profs at IITB for 2 week, and 4) clear the CSE exam and take a government job.

He happened to prepare for the CAT exam also once. I also appeared for the exam along with him. While he was decent-to-good in English subject, he was very average in other sections. We also joined one of the CAT preparation institutes. He was definitely not the one who used to put some extraordinary hours either in work or in studies - I m pointing towards being not extremely hard working. He was quite smart on arguments over any general issues (not that we used to discuss national issues everyday).

In Delhi, journey started from Rajendra Nagar - one of the hubs for aspirants, where they (he along with 3 more friends) took a 3 BHK flat. For them it was slightly early start to preparation, seeing that the prelims exam was still 9-10 months away. The electives were broadly decided before arriving in Delhi (Public Administration and Psychology in his case). Whenever I (and other common friends) visited Delhi, we used to spend a night at their home. It used to be a refreshing change for them from everyday's monotonous schedule. A small dining place called "Omellete", across the road, used to be favorite hangout place. Fights with neighbors, mess by domestic dogs, altercations over the house issues, were some of the funny incidents, which would be cherishable for life.

Days went by, seasons changed but there was no end to the slogging. The popular The Hindu newspaper, NCERT Books, vajiram notes, Test series, class discussions and post test analysis became part and parcel of their life. Some tests went fine while others not so much. Frustrating part of these test series were that many times the test copies were not checked, so you don’t actually come to know about the performance. Nevertheless, these were still good test practices.

After some 9-10 months of labor, the prelims exam came by, which ended up being a piece of cake. I believe, the inclusion of CSAT in the prelims makes the preposition slightly simpler for engineers and MBAs. Soon the result came, and all of sudden time appeared to be short for the Mains examination. Time flew and the big day was around the corner. And ofcourse it's normal to feel nervous about the final day. Having too much anxiety, pressure to perform, 16-17 months of labor, the feeling of having too much on stake, still managing to keep the nerves under control was a big ask. While some relief perspired as exam days came by and went, the usual uncertainty about how the exam went prevailed. Result for the level 2 came and stage was set level 3. The board was of Madam Alka Sirohi and there was chance to redress in the interview suit, first time after the IITK campus placement interview. The interview went well and we soon got to read the interview transcript (The transcript link: http://rishigarg85.blogspot.in/2012/03/candidates-were-allowed-to-enter.html). People/aspirants spread all sorts of rumors for the potential result dates. May 4th, 2012, around 23 months since the dawn of studies, it became a fact that he is a civil servant. Probably the happiest day of his life till that point. He joined IRS, while still deciding to give another attempt being in the service. Unfortunately, the other 3 friends couldn’t get through the exam as the unpredictable nature of the exam and the competition took the toll. Two of them reappeared again. Clearly, the civils exam is a bad habit, which doesn’t leave you easily.

While the epic period of 2 years of struggle came to an end for him, the second time it was more chillax, less burdensome and clearly less tense. With most the static course already in mind, the dynamic part i.e. the current affairs was more of focus. It was largely online based study in the second attempt. The exam days arrived again. While the prelims again was not an issue to worry, and mains remained the tricky exam to pass through. In the meantime, he had already joined the NACEN institute in Faridabad (Haryana) for the IRS training. The interview date came in again. March 11th, this time the board was of Sir IMG Khan, and the same blue interview suit again. The interview went moderately well again. (The transcript link: http://rishigarg85.blogspot.in/2013/05/upsc-interview-11th-march-2013.html) This time it was the end of exam and preparation for him, as there was no third attempt planned. Rumors were strong that May 14th the interview results were expected. And easily well ahead of May 4th, 2012; May 14th 2013, turned out to be the happiest day of his lifetime. An unmatchable feat called IAS was achieved, which not even makes him proud of himself, it makes his family and friends proud of him.

Why I think some people have reservation against the profile of civils’ job is, 1) corporate job looks lucrative initially ... atleast; 2) selection process/exam appears too difficult, 3) conception that post joining the service, one would have to spend life in non-metros; 4) service would involve lot of transfers, among others; 5) service would involve lot of sycophancy and licking of ministers. There are "n" numbers of factors which go in for one to secure even a rank, leave aside getting to the top 100.

Truly, you are an inspiration!!!

Aur teri kab ho rahi hai?

That’s the most common topic of discussion among people of my age. Yes, I’m talking about matchmaking, inspired by the endless flood of engagement/marriage/honeymoon photos nowadays posted on Facebook.

The presence of Facebook has made the celebrations more enthralling for the couple and the friends of the couple. Every day you login into Facebook and see updated Relationship Statuses… “xxx in a relationship with xxx”… “xxx married to yyy”.  Of course, there are those who swing the other way, from “in a relationship to single”. Marriages happen, and newly-wed head for honeymoon. In the meantime, friends go right ahead and upload the marriage pics for everyone to see. “OH MY GOSH, iski bhi ho gayi,” gasp the still-unmarried. As soon as the couple returns from the worlds of Mauritius, Tahiti, Swizz, and Venice they are eager to showcase their KJ romance to the whole world and add more pics to the flood.

Marriage is probably the biggest milestone of our lives and indeed the biggest decision. While arranged marriage is an age-old custom in India and is sought for the joining of two families and the compromises, and blah blah…., love marriages would start with love, would take the couple no time to adjust after marriage (I suppose), eliminate dowry, and permit marrying other castes while family sometimes takes a back seat.

Indeed arranged marriages are not all that simple. It starts with a girl or a boy establishing a feeling of marriageableness within him(her)self that “yes now I am ready for the marriage”.  After (or very often before!) a boy or girl is ready for marriage, a close relative either suggests a rishta or profiles are posted in newspaper matrimonials or marriage sites like shaadi.com/bharatmatrimony.com. The swayamvar starts. Bios are exchanged, Kundalis are matched by family pandits, and the parents meet. Meanwhile the bechara/i bachelor/ette keeps wondering who would be the one. The bachelor/ette reviews the information/available photographs with input from family and friends, and shortlists a few for in-person meetings. In initial days, the biggest question centres on looks and appearances… also, on when to draw the line and stop looking. And then: how well is she/he earning and in what profession, would she/he fit in my family well/mix with friends well, did she/he have a relationship before, what are the hobbies, would the compromise work well for next 40-60 years (…that’s huge), questions on family reputation, food preferences (non-veg/drinks) and the list goes on and on. Interestingly, this line (the thought of where to draw a line) gets faded as time passes by.

  Now, if everything goes well, 1) Kundli matches, 2) Families are good to proceed, 3) Boy and girl are comfortable and find a “Click” after n-number of meetings, then every ones happy and marriages happen. And after all this, the feeling of rejection (if that happens) is not obviously great, and more so when friends say “tune hamare group ke naak kata di”.  The right thing then would be to move on…

I myself am in the phase when a girl is being sought out for me. I have had two “arranged dates” till now, but alas!!! I would like to share the experience of one of these.

  We were supposed to meet at Phoenix mall – one of Mumbai’s most happening malls – located in Lower Parel, Mumbai. The mall has a big open air food court – a nice hangout for couples. While she was coming from the hospital (she was doing her medical post-graduation), I went straight from the office. I reached on time but was made to wait for our very first date (not that I minded much). While I was waiting amid the mild breeze in the food court, I was scanning through the couples around. After a wait of 30 minutes, my phone rang and she arrived at the entrance of the mall. I asked her to come by the food arena and didn’t intentionally tell her my exact location. As she arrived I watched her from a distance before stepping up to meet her. She was wearing black casuals, while I was in office formals, and looked better than her matrimonial Bio photo. We went straight to one of the eating joints “Moshes”. I went prepared, inspired by a youtube video on arranged marriage that I had decided to tell her about.

The conversation goes:

Boy: So how do we start??

Girl: I ask you a question, you respond. You ask me a question, I respond. And since this is not a “Let me impress you on first date” we would be fairly honest with each other

Boy: Ok, that sounds fine

Girl: …and since we don’t have forever, we should limit ourselves to 20 questions each.

So with that funny, text-book start to the conversation, we began our date. We exchanged several questions... and 2 times she asked in between that if my 20 questions were done. She was very fond of dancing (like me), not very fond of books (like me), didn’t quite know to cook and just liked making interesting cuisines occasionally (I only know/like making chai/porridge/Maggi). Quite a match … huhhh !!! We had good food. The date went well and ended after 2:30-3 hrs till 11 in night. We had a final good-bye ice cream at Naturals and I dropped her home. Anyway, the rishta didn’t turn out well for some non-disclosable reasons.

This was a short chronicle detailing my adventures in relation to marriage till now. I somehow still believe the cliché that “Marriages are made in heaven” and that one would indeed find rab in someone someday. Well, I must say it has been an interesting adventure so far.

The Arranged Marriage Video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8X97OL06OY

42 KM? isn’t it too much?

Last 300 meters 

Seriously? You completed it? This is what I got to hear from most people around the next day of run. Around 2,116 odd people (~1,960 males and remaining females) managed to complete the Mumbai marathon this year. For me, this was the second full marathon with the time being 4:55:30. I bettered my last years’ time of 5:44:01.

But why do you want to run so much in one go?

Umm… not sure, why do I want to run 42k in one go. Running has got me fitter than ever before. Besides all this, simply stating, it feels great to be a part of it. The kind of triumph it feels when you cross the “finish line” is inexplicable. The adrenalin rush which is felt once the board of “1000 mt to go” is visible is immense. And I quote from the movie “Spirit of Marathon” – When you cross the Finish Line, No matter how slow or fast, it will change your life forever. It does indeed!!!

After all it’s completely a Mental game

Running 42 km takes a toll on your mind. For me, the distance between 25km – 30km is the toughest part when the mind starts to dictate on you to “give up”. You need to keep telling your mind “No I won’t/ a few km more/I am half way through/I can’t give up” and constantly fight with yourself, your limbs, your brain. You keep calculating “how much time is over/how much time is left for my target time/whether I should walk a bit”. On the marathon day anything can happen and new breeds of pains would creep in. Lots of people use ipods/music players to constantly distract the mind. For me music is a must and I played it the whole 5 hours of the run. Rarely runners would find other companion runners running with them as everyone runs at his own pace. Everyone has to fight the mental battle on his own. I had 5 of my friends who were running FM this year and everyone completed the race in his own unique time.

Does it pain?

Ofcourse !!! And it’s a dreadful feeling when you start to feel it within the first five km. Many amateur runners (including me) take pills on the way to kill the pain. There are also a numbers of medical stations on the way to help you with the pain relief sprays/ice packs. We always want to go to the Run-Day with NO injuries. But I don’t think, we have full control over this. On a bad practice run day, one can injure himself and keeps hoping that it will get well before the final D-day. This pain also feels exaggerated owing to anxiety and we go for all sorts of treatment to get well. During the run lot of people take “Gu-gels” which are typically high energy gels and easily digestible which helps in rejuvenating your body’s energy level. I took 5 of them during my run.

Run up to marathon day!!!

   You run, you stretch, you run more, and you stretch even more. Runners do many long practice runs during their training over the year. Over the past year, I ran 21km five times and 30km once. Longer runs are possible on weekends, while shorter 3-4 km distances are doable on the weekdays. Frankly, lots of runners do much more training than me.

    In the last week, the tension starts to creep in. All sorts of pains get psychological; you start doing icing/heat treatment even if it’s not required. Injury at the last time is awful, when all of sudden you start to feel that you might not be able to run this year. The appointments for the Sport medicine doctors are difficult to get in last week. We just keep wishing that we be perfectly fit on the marathon day. It is suggested to have a good carbohydrate-full diet ("carb-loading”) atleast for 2 weeks before the run. The day before the run-day is famous for organisation of pasta parties. I along with my friends had loads of pasta before the run-day. In the morning, you need to wake up really early as you are required to reach the race spot by 5:40 AM. You need to take a quick bite of something (preferably carb-rich) so that you stomach doesn’t feel empty during the run.

Who can actually complete the marathon?

I bet anyone. Determination and mental strength (more than stamina) – is all it takes to complete the run. If you have friends (other companion runners) with you for company and practice runs, that helps a lot. I know a close friend, with no major “athletic physique or background” who managed to complete the 42-K run this time under 6 hours.

3 cheers to Mumbaikars!!!

Celebs at Mumbai Marathon 2013

It feels very “Kingly” when you walk through 1000’s of Mumbaikars applauding for you. People from all walks of the life – poor to affluent, all ages – small kids to aged uncles – would be there to boost the spirit of runners. It’s enthralling to see crowds shouting the bib numbers, almost everywhere on the route you would find people cheering/clapping for you, offering you biscuits/chocolates/bananas/water and much more. All the arrangements by organisers are exquisite, and you hardly feel short of water as water stations are present within every Km distance. The traffic is stopped, the police is extremely supportive. There is also a lot of Bollywood Hoo-halla around the event. Many top-notch corporates/ Bollywood stars also take part in the run (FM/HM/dream run). Mumbaikars and the race organizers are – Truly legendddd – wait for it – dary.

Winners are Winners!!! On the finish line it’s the spirit which triumphs!!!

Howsoever fast you run, a normal runner would come across sea of sprinters on the way pacing at 17-20 kmph – along with bikes/cars clearing the way for them. These are called the “Elite runners” who start late at ~7:20AM and most of them finish off the run between 9:30-10:30 AM. Many of these runners have separate drinks arranged for them at the water stations. This time in Men category, Jackson Kiprop (Uganda) won the Men’s FM finishing the race in astonishing 02:09:32, while in Women Valentine Kipketer (Kenya) won finishing the race in 02:24:33. The Indian counterparts did superbly too with Binning Lyngkhoi and Lalita Babar completing the run in 2:21:51 and 2:53:42 respectively. Many people target specific times to become eligible for other famous marathons across the world (eg: 3:10 hrs required for Boston Marathon). Kudos to all the winners!! but once any runner crosses the finish line it’s “your will” which triumphs and we start to think anything is possible.